May peace be upon you

Physics Teacher: Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?²

Student: Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.²

Two factory workers are talking.²

Woman: I can make the boss give me the day off.²
Man: And how would you do that?²
Woman: “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.²

Boss comes in: What are you doing?²
Woman: I’m a light bulb.²
Boss: You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.²

The man starts to follow her and the boss says: Where are you going?²
The man says: I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.²

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.”²

The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”²

The little girl replied, “My homework.”²

The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”²

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”²

Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?²
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.²
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?²
Joseph: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”²

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.²

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?”²

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”²

“Isn’t the principal a dummy!” said a boy to a girl.²
“Well, do you know who I am?” asked the girl.²
“No.” replied the boy.²
“I’m the principal’s daughter.” said the girl.²
“And do you know who I am?” asked the boy.²
“No,” she replied.²
“Thank goodness!” said the boy with a sign of relief.²

Teacher asked George: how can you prove the earth is round?²
George replied: I can’t. Besides, I never said it was

Please tell me which one do you like the most